Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
