I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
