Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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