1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
