FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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