Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
