and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
