So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
