remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
