Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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