seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
