I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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