Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
