I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Randomize
