yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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