he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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