The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
it's like iHOP with fire
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
