trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i will never coherently bang her
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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