Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
