i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
