I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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