We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
