Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
