you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
