Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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