just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Someone came in the potted fern
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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