Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
