DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
