i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
And then he peed in my hair
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