Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
