he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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