It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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