Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
