dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
