New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
