I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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