I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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