Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
false alarm. still invincible.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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