You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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