Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
