so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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