laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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