I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
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