Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
