my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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