Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
