so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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