Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
