Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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