just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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