you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
